Trusting His Plans

The past week God has been reminding me and teaching me more about trusting his goodness.  

I've got to be honest.  I've been struggling with being here in LA over the last couple of weeks for a number of reasons; though mostly because of how much I'm missing my wonderful family back home and how much stress I'm under with my workload in SOMD.  

I've been feeling discouraged due to the fact that I'm missing out on spending Sunday afternoons with the family.  I feel like I'm putting enough pressure on myself to complete work for school and my internship that should probably be on at least three people.  I've been feeling inadequate and maybe a little bit apathetic towards myself, and in the midst of it all, I've almost completely forgotten how good God is.

It's silly that I would feel like God's been making me carry all this weight on my own, but I suppose it's something that everyone struggles with at one point or another.  Yesterday I was at a pretty low point, not understanding what God was trying to teach me.  Well, after coming upon a journal entry from a few months ago during my DTS Outreach, I finally realized he's teaching me more and more about trusting him with my life.  Here's part of that entry:

"Remember some of the awesome things that God has done in you through outreach.  Think about everything that's been done in you through your beauty.  And identity!  Leaving for outreach, you were so concerned with your size, and you always thought such ugly and untrue thoughts about yourself.  And now, look at yourself.  You aren't as concerned, and you're turning your negative thoughts into positive ones.  Remember how God promises to provide for your future.  In SOMD, Fashion Week NYC, with the family, with a future husband, in everything.  Remember how faithful God is in the big things and the small things.  Giving us enough money for outreach.  Giving our team such a unity that resembles family.  That others were blessed by it.  Seek Him always.  It'll all be okay.  Trust in Him.  Seriously.  Don't forget it.  He loves you."

I can just hear myself writing this, giving myself this little pep talk.  It makes me smile to think about all the good God did in me during my DTS.  Such a short time compared to the good God has done in my LIFE.  It reminds me to be encouraged in every trial I'm going through, because He's going to work everything out for my good.  :)  Even though some times in life may not be my favorite, or may be stressful or confusing, I trust that God's goodness is going to shine through.  And knowing that in itself makes these last few weeks worth while.  

"A light unto my path

Strength to carry on

The treasure I have found within

Is hidden in my heart"

"In The Beginning" by Bethany Dillon

My beautiful and precious family that I miss and love so much. :)